i always believe that everyone is here for a purpose. nothing can stop you from dying, because it is fated. the phrase 'fate lies in your own hand', to me, it's bullshit. it don't. it never had. each of us is born here for a reason. somehow you are born to do certain things, to lead, to accomplish, but never to live it the way you wanted. it is not about growing up. herh, now i know what does it mean by 'growing up'. it means resigning to fate. listen to my parents, live the life they planned. look, i am fine with it. because they just want me to excel in life. because they know me the best. they know the element in me is not what i think i am. they believe i can do better in the life they planned. i never had my say, even so, it will all be labeled as immature or surface thinking. i am born with the talent to do certain things, things that seem to be impossible to some, i can simply glide through. i would want to pursue my dream, regardless of how much shit i would get into, but the people whom love me, stopped me. so this is how much i've grew, i resign to fate, without rebel. this is not an excuse, this is how true fate is, because because YOU ARE HERE ON EARTH TO DO THIS! NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DON'T WANT IT, YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT. SO JUST DO IT, just stfu and do it. do it wholeheartedly. give up all your childhood ambition and do it well, because your parents thinks that you are talented to do it, because YOU ARE TRAINED TO DO IT! from young you have shown them your potential in this, so they have high hopes on you, don't let them down. i thank them for what they did, so if my child ask me.. 'mummy, what's your interest?'
i will smile back and say:
mummy gave up her interest for her future. because passion and money hardly comes together, because only Alice get to have both.. in her wonderland.
when i press the 'submit' button, my heart sank, knowing that i can never return to this junction ever again. a part of me just died, i am letting go a dream that i had held on so tightly, in exchange for a bright and promising future.