crowded crowd. 2hours for 16km. i don't feel the sense of accomplishment even after crossing the finishing line. this is a race, but i performed even better during training, so what's the use of training so hard?! this time round is the worst running experience. the tears just disappeared among my sweat. doesn't make much difference, i'm drenched. i should take only 100mins,but i'm late by 20. i hate that feeling.. the feeling of losing something i've had so much confidence in. i don't blame the other runners nor the never ending slopes, because i know my body still can take it, my legs are performing good, my lungs are taking in sufficient air, i'm in no condition of black-out, but i did not played my mind game well. i kept stopping, taking breaks, telling myself to give up. i'm not even near the targeted timing, i made a major mistake in calculating. miscalculated the road, the crowd and the slopes. failure. i'd never failed so badly before. arugh!!! if not for the public, i would have slapped myself there! my legs are running by themselves, i swear, but my mind are like 'leggie, just give up.' FUCK! you wouldn't know how much i hate myself back there. my body's condition are hardly this perfect, at the same time, my determination is hardly this weak. i lost myself during the race, similarly, i lose to me. this race taught me a lot. now i finally realized the importance of failure.