It's bee.


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Designed by: Ahting

so u think i'm angry for u ruining all my plans? so u think i'm angry all the time just to get things going my way? so u think i'm always full of angst? so u think anger is the rule of my life? so i'm still just a pathetic follower in ur eyes? so i'm someone with no stand and no say in my clique of friends? so i'm never a leader in ur eyes...

i'm angry because each time we fought, it shows the distance between us. it shows how much u don't understand me. when things happened, u always looked at me in the way like i cant solve the problem. no, i can! in fact, it's easy. all u see is my flaws, and using my flaws, u condemn my capabilities. how could i not be angry when u spoil my plans? I'M NOT AS FREE AS U THINK I AM, DAD! i've to trouble another soul to take over my job as an organizer, it ain't fair. u said i'm always rash and angst in solving things, but dad.. have u ever thought of this:' if u didn't pop my plans, everything will go on smoothly, then i wouldn't be mad.' with all those u've said, i began to doubt myself. i'm never a leader but an angry soul that just spoils everyone's day. so in ur eyes i'm always like this? everyday i hang out with my friends because i've no guts to say i wanna go home? so this is who i am? so i'm just a coward? so i'm still the girl who needs protection? so i'm the never independent one? so i'm always bullied? har? HAR?!

u said i'm a perfectionist? i'm not. as a human being, i give in my 100% in things that i've decided to do.. yes, i'll plan and make sure it's achieved. how many times must i prove it to u? o'lvl u objected in my decision on dropping humanities, BUT DID I DISAPPOINT U?! i said i'll secure a single digit, i did.. didn't i? we fought during the discussion, u said i'm crazy and i'm gonna regret it, but still, i go ahead with my plans, but who's the winner now? and then again, each time, we fought, JUST BECAUSE U DON'T BELIEVE IN ME! SO JUST HOW MANY TIMES MUST I PROVE U WRONG?! after each incident, u'll say i'm right. but when the next arose, I'M SUDDENLY WRONG AGAIN. and it just go over and over again for so many times throughout my life. apparently, u still don't understand me.

u said i always want to do it ONLY my way, taking others suggestions as bullshit. but dad, u didn't explain how ur method would work.. u demanded it ur way. or maybe i did so too. we'r so alike, yet so different in the same way.

i'm crazy in doing things? just because i see things differently or i'm using a different approach? just because before it starts i said it'll be a success? yes, i'm sorry, but i don't plan failure. i only say this when i give in my 100%. i vision success even before it starts because i'm confident that it will. and did i disappoint u? no. did i ever failed completely before? no, not once so far. so how much more must i show u i can? fate is in our hands. we take the path we choose not the chosen path. this is what i'm taught. i may have tuck lots more to learn, but please, just believe in me.. i've made my poly course ur choice. must i be on the top in my industry to show u i can?

sometimes u shouldn't see me the way u wanted me to be, but just see me as who i am. let me grow in my own will, help me in this process. isn't this what parents should do? i'm tired of showing u what i can do. sometimes all i need to do is shut all the comments away and believe in myself..

i'll never be a leader in life..?
are u wrong about me? or am i wrong about myself..