sh,vinc,shan,ber,marc,rima,mx,wt,xf,ml thanks guys! i must really had done shit load of charity to deserve u guys. seriously..
Posting w my phone now, wont hav any pictures:)
poly is lik so round-the-corner, finallyyy!!!! No more sciencesssss!!! Omgggg!!!! I love maths. Haha! I reali do. But i know my course is nth to do w math or hav lil relation w it. But it's ok, i think..
Just happen to tot of this, wad am i gonna do after getting my diploma? To the best of my knowledge, i hav no idea wad's coming in my way/where i'm heading. Err....
Wat goes around comes around. I think i wont be having any friends in poly. No kidding, being such a hardcore badass till now, i believe retributions are coming soon. Bad bad bad. Good! I'll be a nun starting from 12april! Not literally, but in principle.
Sounds wrong, but i'm actually more concern of being alive now. Ironically, having led such an adventurous lifestyle for these yrs, i'm now scared of taking roller coaster rides. In hong kong, i took a mini roller ride, when it reaches it's climax, i wasnt thinking of how fun it was, instead, i'm wondering if this damn thing hits the floor, 3 of us died, who is gonna take care of my partents? Paranoid much? I began to think a whole lot more issues since i got down the ride safely.
After much paranoid sessions, i believe wad goes around, comes around. Even so, i still cant stop doing sinful things. Guess it takes time. Firstly, i've tried to stop comenting, i tried, tried! But seriously ah, for some strangers only. Haha!
It seems to me tt, when u found some goals and visions u wanted to achieve in life, it's when death becomes a no joke to u. 5 years back, most of us dare to jump down from an impossible height without considering the consequences. But now? Siao ahh!! Lol! Right?
My highest level of meditation would be controling my temper. I dunno how the rest of my peers did it, and it's smt un-teacher-ble. I'm concious of how much my dad loves me n my family but i just couldnt contain my anger when we start to argue(u can call it discussion, really). Life ahead will require skills n smart ideas. Not anger.
So much for being an unfilial daughter, i'll work lik a cow when i step into society to make sure that both my parents lead a wealthy life. See, my mum likes shopping, but my dad hates shallow women who only knows how to shop. So my mum limits her spending on herself, and invest those money on us. In other words, she shop for our stuff. *heart sour* as an insensitive cold blooded, i only realise this recently. Nb. I saw this drop dead gorgeous bag which cost a bomb, and she asked me if i want it, and she's ready to pay. But most of the time, all the bags tt she's interested in, was never once brought. So me n hwa promised her we'll grant all her wishes. Naive? Not! It's probably the only promise i'd make so far. N it offically becomes my goal in life. I believe everyone is super protective towards their mum. I dunno y, but this kinda makes the world goes round.
So as life goes on, i made sure i wont get killed easily. It's like, dont get wasted! Living for so long being so lost, now there is finally a thing to work for, just dont wanna die so fast. Lol. Blogging it will keep me reminded of my purpose in life, next time when i'm super lost in life, i can search for the answer here.
Thinking of my mum as a motivation will probably keep me motivated forever. Cos it's no longer myself, it's nothing to do with my own future. I can always change my living standard depending on my income. But now, i have to ensure my wages is enough to support someone else.
Always dreaming of living in hill top houses driving 50 cars, will still stay as a dream, but not smt i'll be working on. Hopefully i'll have the chance to do so. Haha!
2 days ago my relatives came to visit. Finally had to chance to dine w them. Each time they arrive, i'll be busy doing revision. It startled me, the fact that it's the 6th time their visiting. So for 5 times they visited, i wasnt there. The photos they took, even w my granny!!! I wasnt in. But my uncle told me it's ok, some times we need to give up our fun in exchange for success. Just like my dad. Once i didnt see dad for 2weeks despite living under one roof. Too long, too drifted.But it just doesnt feel good missing out gatherings. Having holidays now, its my turn to work around dad's timing. After this holiday, i really wont have time for family gathering. For hoseh, it's easy as we'r all schooling:) n webcamming of cos:D
and overnight at loon's hse, after so long, it was my first time having spent my night w them. So guilty, each time we were invited, i was the only one who didnt make it, cos after sci mac on fridays, i'm just to drained to party the night. That day i went over, it's so nice laaarrrhh! <3 my cousins ttm! Then the hse became a lan shop. Haha. Shall post photos during the next post.
So, for this year, main aim is to be so good in organising n preparing my time tt no outing shall be left out. Easy to say though. But i will still leave out the fun after some time. Nvm. Life goes on.
Having partied all my life, copying in exams, taking short cuts, avoiding troublesome subjects, i think it's time for me to walk the path without taking short cuts. This way i'll learn more, quoted from eq. Haha! Ya, maybe the tendency of taking short cuts in problem solving resulted in me lackin-in-learing-my-lesson. Great. Monkey business always seems flawless. But fatal after effects-.- hai. It's not the first time, definitly not the last. Time for a change.